And I thought "The Man Mess" was Bad...

I feel that I need to make a "public statement" regarding the status drama that has exploded in the last 24 hours. I take responsibility that my status was unclear. What I meant to ask was, "As a past bride, or a currently married couple, what Jewish wedding advice would you give to current brides and engaged couples? What do you wish someone had told you?" I cannot say yet publicly what this is for but it is work related and I am excited to share it with all of you next month, God willing. If you do have any tips or advice on this subject please feel free to privately message me (because apparently doing so publicly will require security.)

What I think is so sad is that while Facebook allows us to be able to meet and have debates with people we don't even know, being online people read things differently then we intend. Some were making light hearted, or well intended remarks, and were taken harshly, or in the wrong way, and what came from this was rude, mean, cyber bullying. I believe in the freedom of speech (clearly) so while some of the words of wisdom shared were not what I was looking for, I still think it is perfectly acceptable to share. I think that some young women in the world (particularly the Orthodox Jewish world I live in) can often feel pressured to get married before they are ready and the women around them are not honest about what marriage is all about. So an open and frank discussion about not just the wonderful things about marriage, but also some of its challenges is an important one. It is just not what my status was intended for. And there is a way to have that discussion. With respect. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, feelings and experiences. I truly believe that no one can judge another person for how they feel and deal with things and someone else can tell them they are wrong.

I cannot image being a young pre-teen or teenage girl in this modern technology world, and I thank God that I am not. I thought that being an adult I would never have to experience, let alone witness, such blatant anger, bordering on hatred, between people, two women, that do not even know each other. I am ashamed that my well intended status caused such friction and made anyone feel badly or bullied. There were some glimmers of support and others, while entertained, chose to comment to my actual question posed, but for the most part everyone is now looking to that status and while many are entertained, many also feel the unease and bullying that I feel when I read it. I will be taking down the status and I apologize for any feelings hurt that have come from it. I will not support anyone speaking like that to anyone. I hope that everyone involved (you know who you are) will apologize to one another privately, regardless of how they now feel about each other. You don't need Yom Kippur (the day of atonement) to say "I'm sorry." So today I say to everyone who commented, was tagged, and is reading this: I am so sorry and I hope you forgive me.

Modesty & Modernity (Part 1)

Many of you know me personally, but I'm really glad to see that I'm getting new readers, particularly from the Lauren Conrad Blog Forum. So for all those new bloggers who are now following-Hey!!!! That forum has really opened my eyes to new blogs with various topics and voices. It's so much fun to feel a community of bloggers.
ANYWAY, so new readers may not know but I consider myself a modern Orthodox Jew, what that means is hard to define. I am Jewish, there's that. With that, there are certain laws, halachot, that I keep and others that I am more..."laid back" shall we say? One of the most difficult, and public, is the choice in dress we wear. These laws are called tzniut, modesty. Many Orthodox to ultra-Orthodox communities believe that, for a woman, she should cover everything from her collarbones, to her wrists, to her ankles. Others find leniency in this and only cover to their elbows, cover the knees and just the tips of her collarbones. And the list goes on and on, and the skin starts to show more and more, depending on where you stand.
     Personally, I was never that sect of Orthodoxy and my hemlines have fluctuated just as much as my weight has over the last 10 years. From capri pants hiding underneath my school uniform in grade 8, to only skirts, to my lulu lemons, to long sleeves all summer, all the way back to...well, wherever I am now. For some time I wore only skirts and 3 quarter length sleeves and then I lost 35lbs two years ago and realized that I was using skirts, dresses, and the general idea of tzniut as a way of covering up something I was embarrassed about. And that is so not what it's about. Modesty is a beautiful thing but I've grown to believe that modesty doesn't just mean you don't show your boobs and thighs. It is also the way in which you carry yourself, the way you act. It's about the less-is-more (I mean showing less is more lol not less clothes is more.)
     My love for fashion has always been there but yes, I have to admit, now that I've lost such a significant amount of weight, fashion is actually fun. (I have to take that back, losing the weight just me personally. I believe, truly, that no matter what size you are, this confidence and love of fashion, can be enjoyed as long as YOU are comfortable in your own skin. I obviously was not.) So, where do I stand today you might be wondering? Well, I am full of contradictions but I think that makes me complex and unique. (Even if it does make me a little crazy.) Maybe I shouldn't, but I pick and choose what I am comfortable with. Now I wear pants, leggings, skirts, and of course dresses. Sleeves are more of a mood thing, I never thought I'd wear sleeveless but low and behold I did on New Years! So who knows? I just go with what I'm comfortable and in the mood for on a day-to-day basis, but I think we all do that, no? Jewish or not.

My Top 10 Favs

The Golden Globes is now over but how amazing was it?! If you missed it, you really missed out. TV really seemed to fall on the sidelines for me, which is weird cause obviously I love TV. Maybe it's just because I haven't caught up on Homeland, which dominated, but it was film that really shined last night.
Most of the wins felt really deserved and Amy Poehler and Tina Fey were possibly my favorite hosts ever! I can't even get into all their hilarious lines which had me literally laughing out loud (my friend was there, she can attest to this...and she probably doesn't want to hang out for awhile because aside for laughing out loud, I clap and cheer as if I'm one of the actors there. Which let's be honest, I wish I was.)
     But I'm just going to limit this post to FASHION; a subject matter I love but haven't taken the opportunity to talk about enough. So who make my top 10? The following women in no particular order:

Anne Hathaway- Chanel- I think Anne is a classic beauty and that's how she looked last night. Besides looking a little on the frail side of skinny, I thought this dress was stunning. And the rest of her look was minimalist and simple. Perfection.

Kerry Washington- Miu Miu- I absolutely LOVED this sparkly and delicate column dress. My only criticism would be that I wish it went all the way to the floor. I hate ankle length dresses, I just think there kaka. Either full length, tea length, knee, above the knee, or mini (if you are under the age of 35 or have legs like Heidi Klum.) And Kerry wasn't the only one rocking the nude/blush look!

Hayden Panettiere- Roberto Cavalli- Another blush stunner! Normally, as much as I like Panettiere, her body always bothers me. She is petite, no doubt, but for some reason her arms always look so stubby to me and it throws off all her proportions. But last night she looked absolutely gorgeous! The strapless Cavalli, the mermaid cut, and it's maybe even the relaxed, blown out hair, that just looked amazing on her. She looked taller, slimmer, and her arms...well, I have to admit they looked pretty damn good.

Nicole Richie- Naeem Khan- Even though she is completely modest, covered head to toe, (a trend I loved seeing on last night's Red Carpet as an Orthodox Jewish girl) this dress is fucking sexy, and not in an obvious way like Jennifer Lopez's (which as a side note, as the night went on, I liked more and more.)

Kate Hudson- Alexander McQueen- I'll say one thing: I wish her hair had been in an updo, just a loose side bun, to show off that amazing collar!

Julia Louis-Dreyfus- Vera Wang

Sally Field- I can't find who she is wearing but someone tell me! My guess is Reem Acra because of the flow, softness, and the twist cap sleeves they have been showing so much of lately. She looks absolutely amazing for her age (66!!!!) and navy is such a classic color and a nice change to so much of the black we saw last night.

I want to say Jennifer Lawrence because I love her so much and the color and cut was amazing (hello, her waist looked insanely tiny with that gold belt) but sadly the cone boobs didn't work for me :(

Zooey Deschanel- Oscar de La Renta, pearls, and a pony. How can you go wrong?

Kristen Bell- Jenny Packham- this is maternity wear gone fantastic. I will put it on the internet now; when I am (God willing, bli ayin hara, knock on wood etc....) pregnant one day I hope one of my siblings is getting married because I want an excuse to wear that dress (yes, I plan on being rich enough to buy the designer original...okay, or buy the best damn fabric and get as close as possible to it!) A lot of timing issues need to go into this to make this happen but the plan is now being set in motion! Any takers? I'm veering off the subject matter aren't I?

And Possibly my #1 would be host Amy Poehler's first outfit of the night- the black Stella McCartney black tuxedo suit with no shirt and that amazing dripping diamond necklace between her cleavage. Need I say more?



There were so many more actually but I'm going to limit myself to 10. Anyone missing you think? Disagree? Leave a message and argue with me! I know you're reading this but people don't believe me when I say I actually do have followers you all just tell me in person or in Facebook messages!

Les Miserables

Finally the movie everyone has been waiting for since the first previews started airing months ago. Why even bother teasing us? They knew we were all going to see it. I can't actually remember my personal experience of seeing Les Miserables on a stage but I'm sure I did. I can remember the feeling of awe, the ever-growing love of musicals and theatre, my grandmother buying me the CD and I'm pretty sure the T-shirt with the girl's infamous hair blowing across her face. Who didn't want to be Cosette singing about her castle on a cloud? Well, I did.
     I was thrilled when finally someone said they were going to go see the movie on Christmas day in the morning. We bought our tickets that day online and I immediately went to get us prime seats. Besides the fact that I could hear some singing, (which is normally me but I already knew I didn't know the words well enough and I would want to sing too loudly) and that one guy who decided he was bored enough to twirl his glasses around (I still hate you whoever you are) I was completely enthralled in this movie. I was transported, even more then I get in a play. I think this can be attributed to the extremely large theatre screens we have today and the surround sound systems. I thought perhaps this was the one time a movie could have used an intermission (not for smoking like they are used for in Israel) but a short 5 minute break would have been nice and it's clear in the film, as it is in the play, where the story jumps in time and changes its focus in characters.
     There was one moment that my sister and I agreed the film had ONE silly moment which was when Javert (Russell Crowe) jumps to his suicide and the sound editor put in this loud, odd, cracking sound that was a little unnecessary and took away from the heaviness of the moment. My sister thought Anne Hathaway (Fantine) was over acting but I actually disagree. I was completely drawn into her character, her emotion, her plight, and once again gave my insides a deep yearning to sing and act. To so deeply feel a character is something I cannot fathom and Hathaway does this so well and wholeheartedly I really hope the Academy gives her an Oscar (finally!) for it. Just as equally, and carrying the film, is Hugh Jackman playing Jean Valjean. This is no surprise to me. He proved himself a broadway actor for The Boy from Oz and his amazing hosting abilities for the Tonys & Oscars. I love to watch him sing and dance, just as much as I love to watch his shirt rip off and his claws tear through his skin as Wolverine.
     There are so many characters, and the actors who play them, that deserve so much recognition a blog post isn't nearly enough! Sacha Baron Cohen and Helen Bonham Carter were fantastic I thought as the owners of the motel "Masters of the House." Eddie Redmayne (Marius) is a new love of mine. I fell in love with him and his adorable freckles in My Week with Marilyn (p.s. see that if you haven't yet). I'm so glad more people will have the chance to fall in love with him even more in Les Mis. He was also InStyle's "Man of Style"in last month's edition, with fellow co-star Amanda Seyfried (adult Cosette) was the covergirl, who by the way, hit keys I had NO idea she could hit! She would put most pop stars to shame.  So check them both out in InStyle, it was a good one! And the last actor I'll mention is Aaron Tveit (Enjorlas) who I thought was great. I knew I recognized him from something, and if you had the same feeling and you're a female in your teens-twenties then I am about to relieve that pain. Are you ready? He played Trip Van Der Bilt in Gossip Girl. (How amazing does that feel?? That moment when you finally place where you recognize someone from! Must be one of my favorite feelings.) GG did him no justice, he was fantastic I thought in this role. I really look forward to seeing him in the future cause you can bet we will!
     I think it's needless to say I think everyone should see this movie, man or woman. Guys, the main character is a guy, there are prostitues, a man's struggle to survive, beautiful women singing with incredible voices, I mean come on! And if anyone hasn't seen it and wants to send me a message, I'm begging for an excuse to go see this again.